26 Things I’ve Learned in 26 Years

It’s okay to distance yourself from those who are toxic or only hurt you – those aren’t real friends.

I really discovered this for the first time when I was 16. I had a friend I realized was manipulating me and holding me back, so I cut her out of my life. At the time, it was really hard for me to do since we had been best friends for years and I was really shy and quiet back then. However, afterwards, I made better friends and things got so much better. Don’t allow people to walk all over you.

True friends are those that stay beside you in tough times.

In a similar vein, sometimes a friend doesn’t have to be mean or manipulative to show they’re not a true friend. After I went through a nasty breakup, my friends bailed because they didn’t want to deal with my sadness. They were more than happy to talk to me again once I recovered from the breakup, but at that point, I decided they weren’t quality friends. You want to keep quality people in your circle that will always have your back.

Sometimes it’s better to just listen and let them figure it out in their own time than to provide advice.

I went through a really difficult time two years ago and everyone was trying to give me advice. Some people were saying, “do this!” while others said, “No, do that!” No matter what I did, one group was unhappy. Nobody’s advice helped me, even though some of them did in fact turn out to be right. I had to figure all of that out on my own! I refused to listen to anybody. After I had that realization, I stopped offering friends advice unless they asked for it. I just listened to them vent and even if I thought the way they were handling the situation was wrong, I kept it to myself. I supported them and their decisions. In the end, they all figured out the right thing to do and they were grateful to me for being among the few that were understanding instead of harsh and judgmental. Of course, if it’s a life threatening situation or they’re doing something dangerous, that’s different. This applies more to day to day life stuff.

Sugar is worse than fat. Don’t buy into those low-fat fad diets!

Some fat is healthy and good for you. Trans fats should be avoided if possible, but you shouldn’t fear things like olive oil just because they have a lot of fat in them. Refined sugar, however, does nothing good for the body (just the soul, haha).

However, you can still enjoy sweets and be healthy. It’s all about moderation.

I’ve tried those diets where you cut out unhealthy foods altogether and it’s always ended in me binge eating sweets. It’s better for me to have a couple of Milanos, a few Dove chocolates, or 1 brownie than to end up binge eating a whole pan of brownies later.

Adopting a pet is one of the most challenging, but fulfilling things you can do in life.

Oliver is one of the best things that’s ever happened to me! And Rosie is starting to become a pretty sweet cat, so she’s getting there. Oliver was nothing but difficult when I got him. He chewed on the walls, on the furniture, on me…and he wasn’t well trained at all. I had to put a lot of money, time and effort into him (the same goes for Rosie). In the end, Oliver has been my rock. He’s been with me through a cross-country move, big breakup, and new boyfriend! He keeps me from getting scared being home alone after watching a scary movie or show and he makes me feel better when I’m sad. If I had to do it all over again, I’d adopt him again in a heart beat.

The worst that can happen is they say “no”.

Stop being afraid to ask for things or of trying. In Junior year of college, I was so crippled by my fear of being rejected from internships that I only ended up applying to 2 or 3. Of course, I didn’t get an internship that year. Had I gotten over my fear and applied to way more, chances are I would’ve gotten one! Similarly, if you want a raise but don’t ask for one, you may not get one. If you ask, you may get one! If not, it’s not like they are going to fire you – actually, they may have newfound respect for you! About a year ago, I was terrified, but I told my boss one on one that I wanted to be considered for the promotion. I ended up not getting it, but she told me it was huge that I was able to come to her and that she would consider me for future promotions.

Listen to your gut instincts.

In my last relationship which lasted 4 years, I had a gut feeling around 2 years that something was wrong and that we were wrong. I convinced myself over and over again that we could work through anything and I loved him and it could work, despite the fact my gut was telling me otherwise. Of course, it didn’t work out and it turns out my gut was spot on. Never ignore your gut instincts!

A night in can be just as fun as a night out and your wallet will thank you.

I love going out, but I’m also a bit of a homebody. The other day, instead of going out to the movies, Tom and I watched a movie on my TV and made popcorn at home. We cuddled up on the couch under some blankets and it was nice! I had another day where I hung out at home alone watching movies, baking cookies, and treating it as a total lazy day. That was actually one of the better days I’ve had in a while! You don’t have to be going out every single weekend to have a good time.

Support each other.

In a world of so much negativity, the last thing anybody needs is people tearing each other down. Be the positivity in the world. Encourage your friends and peers to do better, go for that promotion, face their fears! Congratulate friends on successes instead of being jealous.

Track your spending or it’ll get out of control.

We all learn this the hard way. I’ve been keeping a budget bullet journal since August and while I still have a lot to learn about budgeting, I’ve noticed I am more in check when I’m aware of my spending habits.

Keep stress at bay. Too much cortisol does nasty things to the body.

Trying to lose weight? Too much cortisol will put a big damper on your progress. These last couple of years I’ve tried to stress less. Maybe you missed that deadline at work, but breathe. Problem solve and move on. Stressing about it solves nothing. Do what helps you relax. Whether that’s yoga, taking a bath, working out or even just watching TV, make it a point to do one relaxing thing a day.

Know when to apologize. Don’t let pride ruin a relationship.

Some relationships fall apart because they fight, but both want to “win”. There is no “winning” in fights. If you win the argument, you might not really have won at life if your friend, parent, partner, etc is hurt by the end of it. Know when to accept that you’re wrong and apologize genuinely.

Don’t bottle things up. It’s better to talk them out calmly.

If you don’t talk out your feelings from the moment they arise, they will keep building and building until you eventually blow up at the person you had those feelings about. Blowing up at someone is not healthy at all. It’s healthier to talk things out calmly and honestly from the beginning and resolve it early on.

Everything happens for a reason.

I am a strong believer of this. If my dad hadn’t gotten that job transfer to Virginia, I never would’ve met Mike Henry who let me intern on The Cleveland show and I never would’ve gone to SCAD (he convinced my parents that art school was ok). If I never went to SCAD, I never would’ve heard about CTN which is where I met my current boss and if I never interned on The Cleveland Show, I may never have gotten my job. Similarly, if my ex boyfriend hadn’t been so horrible and we didn’t break up, I never would’ve met my current boyfriend who is a million times better! When things get bad, just remember something good will come of it.

Say “I forgive you” instead of “it’s okay”.

I realized about 2 years ago that I had a bad habit of saying “it’s okay” instead of “I forgive you”. The problem with that is that by saying “it’s okay”, you are basically telling the person that whatever they did to hurt you wasn’t that bad, that it was fine. This causes a pattern of it happening again. By saying “I forgive you”, it’s acknowledging that they hurt you, but saying you can move past it. It has a certain weight to it. It’s more serious, which is why I was so afraid to say it. Now, however, I make it a point to say “I forgive you” instead.

Don’t rely solely on others to make you happy.

If you rely on someone for happiness and then they leave you or are no longer part of your life anymore, you won’t know what to do to be happy! It’s okay to be happy with others, but it’s important to have your own activities and interests you know make you happy. It’s also a great trait to be independent!

Let people know you appreciate them.

I love when people tell me they appreciate me or something I did for them. I feel valued and heard. Other people feel the same. I told my parents over a year ago that they were good parents and I was still hearing them talk about it at Thanksgiving this year! It held a lot of weight with them.

Everyone gets a happy ending. If you’re not happy, it’s not the end.

I read this from a Dove chocolate once and it blew my mind. I wish I had this 3 years ago! It’s such a great saying and it holds true.

A creative outlet is the best for those bad days.

When you’re feeling angry or sad, I find it helps me calm down or feel better when I put on some music and draw or I play songs on my guitar and sing. It relaxes me, so I try to turn to creativity when I’m sad.

Don’t be afraid to let someone know you like or love them.

Growing up, I was the girl who got almost all my boyfriends because I told them I liked them first. A lot of my friends thought I was crazy for doing it, but hey, I either got a boyfriend out of it or I found out they didn’t feel the same and I got closure instead of driving myself crazy with the wondering!

Don’t be afraid to seek out a mentor.

Mentors are so great, but they don’t always fall into your lap. My Senior year of college, I realized that the Chair of Animation (who was also teaching the class I was in) knew a lot about the industry, who worked in it, and how to write a proper resume and create a good website. I started asking him to check over my emails to professionals, proof read my resume, critique my website, etc. We ended up having a back and forth all year which benefited me even more, because he ended up being one of my references! He told me to this day he uses me as one of his success stories.

Start contributing to your 401k as soon as you can.

I learned this one from my parents. The second I got my first industry job, I started contributing to my 401k. I didn’t know much about it or how it worked when I started and a couple months into my job, my company was going to have a workshop about it. I decided to go and most of the people who showed up were in their 40s and up. I started to feel a bit out of place, but then they all started telling me they wished they were like me when they were younger and wished they had started sooner. Start contributing ASAP!

Take more naps.

I started taking naps my senior year of high school and my GPA went up a whole point. Now I’m a firm believer that naps rejuvenate you! I nap at least once a week. There is nothing better than the feeling of a nap.

Journal every night, if possible.

I haven’t been as good about this in recent years, but in high school, I wrote in my journal every single night. This was so great, because it kept my mind sharp, I got amazing sleep, and I started seeing patterns in my life. When I’d get confused about life, I’d sometimes go back and read my journals and I’d start seeing patterns that opened my eyes! My past self ended up providing my present self some very important insights that helped me down the road.

Self care days are essential.

In a world where we are so busy all the time, it’s important to take care of yourself mentally! Take a hot bath with candles. Go get your nails or hair done to help your confidence shine. Sit in the sun at the park. Do whatever you can to help recharge after a long week.

I hope you enjoyed my 26 life lessons! Let me know what you’ve learned in life so far that I may have missed in the comments below!